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TIPS FOR MAKING CLASSROOMS SAFER
Developed by the Youth Leadership and Action Program of COLAGE (Children Of Lesbians and Gays Everywhere) Spring 2003 Introduction
In the This guide attempts to introduce teachers to the topic of safety and respect for youth with LGBT parents in schools. Developed by a group of youth with LGBT parents in the San Francisco Bay Area, we hope you can use this guide to take steps in making your classrooms and schools more affirming and safe for students from LGBT families, as well as all students affected by homophobia and oppression. Why is it Important for Teachers to Address this Issue?
* Teachers set the tone for classrooms. They have the power to foster an atmosphere where the students understand that they must respect one another despite differences. They also have the power to set a strong example against hate. For this reason if teachers take the first step in making classrooms safer for students with LGBT parents, other students, and the school as a whole will follow. * Many states have legislation that defines homophobic harassment in schools to be a hate crime. For example, AB-537 makes it illegal for students, teachers, or staff in California schools to be harassed verbally, physically, or emotionally due to reasons of actual or perceived sexual orientation. School districts who have violated this law have been required to pay million dollar settlements to victims of homophobia harassment. AB 537, the California Student Safety and Violence Prevention Act of 2000, changed California's Education Code by adding actual or perceived sexual orientation and gender identity to the existing nondiscrimination policy. The state defines "gender" as "a person's actual sex or perceived sex and includes a person's perceived identity, appearance or behavior, whether or not that identity, appearance, or behavior is different from that traditionally associated with a person's sex at birth." The nondiscrimination policy also prohibits harassment and discrimination on the basis of sex, ethnic group identification, race, ancestry, national origin, religion, color, or mental or physical disability. One resource for learning about legislation in your state is the Gay, Lesbian, Straight Education Network at www.glsen.org. * In order to effectively learn, kids need to feel safe in their classroom environments. Being teased or harassed, living in fear, or feeling invisible because of ones family does not contribute to a child's ability to learn and blossom in the classroom. Despite your beliefs on sexual orientation and gender, it is the role of a teacher to ensure the equal safety of each student and to equally protect each student so that they may learn. Tips for Teachers to Make Classrooms Safer for Students with LGBT Parents
1. Always intervene whenever you hear anti-gay language or actions. At the beginning of the year set classroom rules that include making it clear that racist, homophobic, sexist, and all discriminatory comments are not welcome in your classroom. Whenever you hear something being said, step right in. If possible use it as a "teachable moment" in your classroom. Send a clear message that homophobia will never be tolerated. In addition, try to link homophobia to other types of oppression- teach students that hate in all of it forms is wrong. 2. Ask about a student's background instead of making assumptions. Create a classroom where each student is able to share freely about their identity and families. Use language that is empowering to youth with LGBT parents. For example, many youth report that when asked about their families that are headed by two same-sex parents, people will ask, "Which one is your real mom/dad?" However in alternative families, youth see anyone serving in a parental role as their real parent. Youth who feel comfortable to talk about their families will use the terms that they are comfortable with to describe their parents. 3. Visually show your support. On your walls include a poster about diverse families (perhaps one of the educational posters offered by COLAGE) or other images that show you are an ally to LGBT people and issues. You can also use Safe Zone posters which are commonly used by teachers to make a statement against homophobia. 4. Avoid heterosexism in your classroom and assignments. Some examples: In language classes asking youth to describe their families; often youth with LGBT parents have been reprimanded for using the wrong gender pronouns. However, the fact that they are using he and he to describe two dads is correct, their teachers were making the heterosexist assumption that parents can only be straight. If you assign family origin or family tree projects, allow youth from LGBT families to make their own decisions about how they portray their families whether it is two parents of the same gender, or multiple parents who co-parent them, etc. As much as possible use gender-neutral language in both classroom in informal conversations. 5. Include Topics about Diversity in your curriculum: Study different kinds of families, famous LGBT people (and when someone you are studying anyway is a LGBT person, mention that). Have speakers, use videos, and books to show students that diversity is something to be celebrated. Perhaps use events such as National Coming Out Day, Pride Day, or a Unity Week as a reason to incorporate LGBT issues positively into your classroom through discussions and projects. 6. Never out a student with LGBT parents. The only person who should make the decision to share about their family is the student when they feel safe and ready to do so. 7. Do not make assumptions about youth with LGBT parents. Youth from alternative families report that people often assume certain traits will apply to all youth with LGBT parents. For example, do not expect that a student who has LGBT parents will also be gay. Research shows that there is no higher incidence of homosexuality among people raised by LGBT parents than by heterosexual parents. 8. Make your classroom accessible to LGBT families. Do not rely on forms, permission slips, or other paperwork that asks for signatures from mother and father. Instead use the terms Parent/Guardian. On Back to School night, or during parent teacher conferences expect and welcome LGBT parents. 9. Work with your administration to make sure your school is safe for students with LGBT families. Suggest that the faculty at your school does an LGBT sensitivity training, or an in-service about LGBT and diverse families. Discuss protocols for dealing with anti-gay or anti-gay family harassment on school-wide or department levels so that all teachers are equipped to address homophobia. 10. Educate yourself. Learn more about LGBT families, and issues. Not only will this allow you to be informed when students raise questions or need resources, but it will help you be better equipped to address incidents of homophobia in your school and to include LGBT content in your curriculum. As a starting point, use the resources in the back of this guide for suggestions of books, movies, websites and more. 11. Be involved. If your school has a Gay Straight Alliance or other type of club, attend meetings when possible to show your support. You can also offer to be the faculty advisor for such a club if students are trying to start one in your school. If you are involved in your school's GSA, Rainbow Club, or other diversity club, ensure that LGBT family issues are included and that youth from LGBT families are welcomed as participants. Definitions
In order to be able to comfortably address issues of LGBT families in your classroom, it's important to be familiar with some of the terms and words commonly used in conversations about LGBT families. This list is just a start to facilitate initial conversations about students with LGBT parents. Adoption- An option for LGBT parents considering parenthood. Laws concerning gay adoption vary from state to state. There are some states where there is an outright ban on gay adoption. Other states have fairly liberal laws allowing two parents of the same sex to adopt a child (second-parent adoption) To learn about the gay adoption laws in your state, you can visit the Family Net of the Human Rights Commission (www.hrc.org) for a listing of adoption laws in each of the 50 states. Bisexual- People whose attraction to others is fluid between same-sex and opposite sex partners. Co-parenting When two or more adults, usually not involved in a romantic relationship, share the parenting responsibilities of a child(ren). Donor Insemination (sometimes referred to as alternative insemination) Conception using a sperm donation (sometimes anonymous, sometimes known). Gay - Someone who is primarily attracted to people of their same sex, most commonly used to describe men. GSA- Gay Straight Alliance- School-based clubs which bring together LGBT and straight ally youth for social, educational, advocacy, or other types of activities. Some schools use different names for clubs of this sort. Heterosexism: A preference by both people and/or institutions for heterosexual people over others. Also can be the presumption of heterosexuality. Homophobia: Irrational fear of, aversion to, or discrimination against homosexuality or homosexuals. Like all prejudices it is based on a set of myths and stereotypes. Because it is so rarely challenged structurally, it is destructive both in terms of societal and legal limitations and in terms of violence against LGBT people, people perceived to be LGBT, or people related to LGBT individuals. Lesbian- Women who are primarily attracted to women Out (as a verb) The act of telling people about a person's sexual orientation or gender identity. In the case of students with LGBT parents, its referred to as coming out about their family. To out someone means to share this information on their behalf (with our without their consent). Second Parent Adoption- When one parent is the biological parent of a child, some states allow the second parent to do a second parent adoption through which both parents become the legal parents of the child. Sexual orientation- the sex(es) you are attracted to Slurs- Negative words used to berate LGBT people. Also can mean simply using a word such as gay but in a negative context (eg. You are SO gay!) Slurs also refer to any words used in a discriminatory manner and can be racists, sexist, etc. Straight- Someone who is attracted to people of the opposite sex. Transgender- an umbrella term often used to describe everyone who does not conform to the social roles that their biological sex is supposed to play. This is independent of sexual orientation. Transsexual- One who feels that their biological sex does not match their psychological gender. Usually a transsexual is living as their preferred sex, and will, or has had operations to change some of the physical aspects of their sex. Transsexuals can be straight, gay, or bi. Transvestite- One who wears the clothes of the other sex for fun or for sexual reasons. Transvestites do not want to be that sex. They are usually straight men. A less clinical term used by many transvestites is Cross Dresser. Resources The following are some suggested organizations, books, and videos that can assist your efforts to make classrooms safer for students with LGBT parents. In no means is it meant to be an exhaustive list of the vast resources available on LGBT people, communities and information. Breaking the Classroom Silence: A Curriculum about Lesbian and Gay Human Rights. Donahue and Satterwaite, Amnesty International, 1994. Breaking the Silence: Lesbian and Gay Parents and the Schools. V. Caspar. Teachers College Record 94 (1992): 109-37. Both My Moms' Names Are Judy. A 10 minute video which presents a racially diverse group of children talking about how the classroom silence about lesbians and gay men affects them, and what they would like to see change. Comes with an extensive resource guide and suggestions for our workshop, "Overcoming Homophobia in the Elementary Classroom. For more info, please contact: Lesbian and Gay Parents Association of San Francisco at LGPASF@aol.com. COLAGE (Children Of Lesbians And Gays Everywhere) engages, connects, and empowers people to make the world a better place for people with lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender parents and families. Programs include local chapters, the Just For Us publication which is included in membership, online chat lists for youth, pen pal program, scholarship, annual Family Weeks, and more. www.colage.org 415-861-5437. COLAGE also publishes book, video, and other resources lists which can be accessed at http://www.colage.org/resources.html Family Equality Council is a national organization that aims to advance the well-being of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgendered parents and their families through mutual support, community collaboration, and public understanding. Based in Washington DC, FPC provides programming for LGBT families across the country. 202.331.5015, familypride.org. Gay Parents/Straight Schools. Caspar, V and Schulz. New York: Teachers College Press, 1999. GLSEN (Gay, Lesbian, Straight Education Network) is a national organization fighting to end anti-gay bias in K-12 schools. GLSEN combats the harassment and discrimination leveled against students and school personnel. GLSEN believes that the key to ending anti-gay prejudice and hate-motivated violence is education. www.glsen.org It's Elementary: Talking About Gay Issues In School A highly acclaimed film shot in first through eighth grade classrooms across the United States. The film is a window into what really happens when educators address gay issues with their students in age-appropriate ways. 1996, Women's Educational Media. http://www.womedia.org/our/elem.html Let's Get Real, the third film in the Respect For All Project, examines a variety of issues that lead to taunting and bullying, including racial differences, perceived sexual orientation, learning disabilities, religious differences, sexual harassment and others. The accompanying 130-page curriculum guide features valuable lesson plans, discussion starters, classroom activities and handouts for teachers to use in conjunction with the film. Schools and community groups may also sign up for staff training on how to use Let's Get Real as a teaching tool in classrooms. Grades 6-8. 2003, Women's Educational Media. www.womedia.org/letsgetreal.htm Love Makes a Family: Gay Parents in the 90's Meet a lesbian single mother who shares parenting with the gay father of her son; a lesbian couple who care for one's children by a previous marriage; and a gay male couple with two adopted sons; a clinical psychologist and a therapist who work with gay families and their children. 1991, 16 min. Fanlight Productions, 1-800-937-4113 Opening Doors: Lesbian and Gay Parents and Schools. A resource booklet aimed for educators as well as for lesbian and gay parents. Educational Advisory Committee of the Family Equality Council. www.familypride.org, 1999. Our House: A Very Real Documentary about Kids of Gay and Lesbian Parents. Meema Spadola. A documentary featuring the stories of youth in 5 lesbian and gay families across the country. The diverse experiences of the youth in the film paint a touching and insightful portrait of the lives of youth with lesbian and gay parents. 2000. www.itvs.org/ourhouse. Out of the Ordinary: Essays on Growing Up with Gay, Lesbian, and Transgender Parents. Edited by Noelle Howey and Emily Samuels. A collection of essays and stories written by people with LGBT parents about their experiences- both difficult and triumphant, serious and humorous. New York: St. Martin's Press, 2000. PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays). PFLAG promotes the health and well-being of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered persons, their families and friends through: support and advocacy. Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays provides opportunity for dialogue about sexual orientation and gender identity, and acts to create a society that is healthy and respectful of human diversity. www.pflag.org "School Experiences of the Children of Lesbian and Gay Parents." Ray, V. and Gregory, R. Family Matters 59 (Winter 2001): 28-41. School's Out: The Impact of Gay and Lesbian Issues on America's Schools. Dan Woog. Boston: Alyson Publications, 1995. Tackling Gay Issues in School: A Resource Module. L. Mitchell. GLSEN Connecticut and Planned Parenthood of Connecticut, 1999. That's a Family! is the second film in the Respect for All Project, is a highly entertaining half-hour documentary that breaks new ground in helping kids see and understand many of the different shapes that families take today. Designed especially for children in elementary school, THAT'S A FAMILY! will stretch your mind and touch your heart, no matter what your age. That's a Family! comes with an extensive discussion and teaching guide, which includes lesson plans to use with the video, suggestions for facilitating classroom discussion at different grade levels, and additional resources for teachers, families and children. Schools and community groups may also sign up for training on how to use That's a Family! as a diversity teaching tool with young children. 2000, Women's Educational Media. www.womedia.org/thatsafamily.htm Welcoming Children from Sexual Minority Families into Our Schools. Linda and Laura Lamme. A booklet written by a lesbian mom and her daughter that provides a comprehensive look at LGBT families and schools. Phi Delta Kappy Educational Foundation. Bloomington, IN, 2003. www.pdkintl.org This guide was developed by the Youth Leadership and Action Program of COLAGE. YLAP is a group of COLAGE youth members ages 14-20 with LGBT parents in the Bay Area of California. ©2003 YLAP gives permission to you to reprint or re-use the information in this guide so long as you do not alter and you credit COLAGE for all content. Youth Leadership and Action Program 2003 Abby Lawton, Age 16 Breauna Dickson, age 14 Claire Veeninga, Age 15 Kate McChesney, Age 18 Landon Modena-Kurpinsky, age 20 Maraya Massin-Levey, age16 Marina Gatto, age 14 Meredith Fenton, COLAGE Program Coordinator Morgan Early, age18 Quinn Duffy, age 18 Rachel Bartleman, age 16 Ruby Cymrot-Wu, age 18 Whitney Modena-Kurpinsky, age 17 For more information about YLAP or COLAGE contact us: |
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Tips for Making Classrooms Safer for Students with Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Parents